Book Updates! I'm Almost There

A couple of weeks ago, I mentioned that I was writing a book and though it's definitely a work in progress, something is definitely coming together. I'm currently in the early first draft phase, but I though it'd be great motivation to post bits I've written here. 

The book, I'm Almost There (and other things)  is a collection of short stories progressing through the teen years to early twenties. It's written in the style of a memoir, but hopefully it's just as funny as it is serious. The chapters range from first experiences in the kitchen and embarrassing middle school moments to college parties. Though this is the first draft and will likely change, here is a small sample. Enjoy! {Image}

I am  a huge fan of the telephone. I know it’s something lost in our generation, but there is nothing like a great phone conversation. Of course when it comes to talking on a phone, I like to multitask. The only person who has the time to talk at any hour of the day would be my grandma. I love that woman and she is the greatest, however I noticed that for all of our conversations, there tends to be a similar pattern that goes something like this:

Me: Yo whattup.
Grandma: Who is this? Oh Emma!
Me: Nothing much just (insert the thing that I am currently multitasking on).
Grandma: Oh, so I see that you’re multitasking... Am I on speaker? That’s why I never hear you. How are you? How is *insert name of guy who I mentioned one time and haven’t talked to since*
Me: Grandma, I mentioned that guy one time.
Grandma: I just found an article in the Globe about *insert current even about Gisele and Tom Brady* He is such a quality man.

Me: By the way, did you get that letter I sent?
Grandma: Oh yes, it’s hanging on the bulletin board. I can’t believe I have multiple ones from each season this year!
Me: Are you ever going to get around to writing one back?
Grandma: I’ve just been so busy...
Me: Grandma, you literally said you’ve been doing nothing all day today.
Grandma: Well Emma, it was a tough winter, there was three feet of snow, I could barely get to the mailbox at the end of the driveway, yet alone the post office down the street.
Me: Well it’s June now.

(these are actual quotes from a recent conversation)
Grandma: I just wanted to say that that I was reading an article from my church newsletter. In the convent there is a nun whose job it is to take care of Ms. Fluffy, the cat and write a weekly blurb about what she does. You love cats so much, it made me think of you.
Me: You know what, that is seriously becoming a possible backup plan.
Grandma: I just don’t understand how you tell me that all of your friends are single. They are all so smart and beautiful from what you’ve told me and the pictures, I don’t understand how you are all single.
Me: At this point in the conversation, I don’t feel like explaining the college hookup culture to my devout Catholic grandmother. Me neither Grandma, HOW ABOUT YOU TELL ME.
Grandma: It’s just your generation these days, people are always putting off getting married *insert something related to Catholicism.*

Me: Bye Grandma!

P.S. The most adorable proposal from my fellow counselor friends Jim and Ashley. 

No comments