I am a huge fan of the telephone. I know it’s something lost in our generation, but there is nothing like a great phone conversation. Of course when it comes to talking on a phone, I like to multitask. The only person who has the time to talk at any hour of the day would be my grandma. I love that woman and she is the greatest person I know. For being someone who is also the most devout Catholic, she has an ability to make me laugh more than anyone and is always down for a good time (which I usually drag her to). I noticed that for all of our conversations, there tends to be a similar pattern that goes something like this:
Me: Yo whattup.
Grandma: Who is this? Oh Emma!
Me: Nothing much just (insert doing something that I am currently multitasking on).
Grandma: Oh, so I see that you’re multitasking... Am I on speaker? That’s why I never hear you. How are you? How is *insert name of guy who I mentioned one time and haven’t talked to since*
Me: Grandma, I mentioned that guy one time.
Grandma: I just found *insert current even about Gisele and Tom Brady* He is such a quality man.
Me: By the way, did you get that letter I sent?
Grandma: Oh yes, it’s hanging on the bulletin board. I can’t believe I have multiple ones from each season this year!
Me: Are you ever going to get around to writing one back?
Grandma: I’ve just been so busy
Me: Grandma, you literally said you’ve been doing nothing all day today
Grandma: Well Emma, it was a tough winter, there was three feet of snow, I could barely get to the mailbox at the end of the driveway, yet alone the post office down the street.
Me: Well it’s June now.
(these are actual quotes from a recent conversation)
Grandma: I just wanted to say that that I was reading an article from my church newsletter. In the convent there is a nun whose job it is to take care of Ms. Fluffy, the cat and write a weekly blurb about what she does. You love cats so much, it made me think of you.
Me: You know what, that is seriously becoming a possible backup plan.
Grandma: I just don’t understand how you tell me that all of your friends are single. They are all so smart and beautiful from what you’ve told me and the pictures, I don’t understand how you are all single.
Me: At this point in the conversation, I don’t feel like explaining the college hookup culture to my devout Catholic grandmother. Me neither Grandma, HOW ABOUT YOU TELL ME.
Grandma: It’s just your generation these days, people are always putting off getting married *insert something related to Catholicism*
Me: Bye Grandma!
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